if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
