is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
