clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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