Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
