Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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