i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
