i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
