google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
