i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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