Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
