ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
