Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
