Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
