dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
