oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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