I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
