There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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