if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
