I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
