I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
