i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
