Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
