So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
