Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
