Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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