Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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