The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
