so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
