Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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