Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize