Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
