i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize
