i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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