I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
