yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
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