Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My dick has a subreddit
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
