Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
