I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
