I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
