Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
