That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
