first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize