Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
