you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
