If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
