yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
