did you get engaged???
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
