it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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