i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
