there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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