dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
