question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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