so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
