I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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