Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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