so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize