White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i think i just lost a toe
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
