Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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