Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
