I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I had to cum in my sink.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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