oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you never un-have a 4some
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
